Big Feelings Part 2
- May 1
- 3 min read
I've been feeling like a little kid a lot lately.
Many things are overwhelming me.
Paying bills, technology, making phone calls, tracking appointments, dealing with insurance, the endless follow through on every single thing that is much more complicated than ever before. It is truly mind-boggling how much we are expected to juggle these days. And I am just me - no kids, no pets, no partner.
I am feeling incredibly vulnerable and am left wondering how in the world I have made it this far in life. I'm almost 60 years old!
Last month I wrote about growing up in a generation where painful experiences were rarely discussed or addressed. The impact of our unresolved trauma has brought more pain and suffering, as evidenced in the world around us.
In the 1990's Los Angeles was a hot bed of self-discovery workshops and classes, and I dove in heart first! I was obsessed, signing up for everything. I understood the language of growth and healing, and my tribe was there.
I am still immersed in what I now call Spiritual Psychology, a phrase coined by the University of Santa Monica. I am grateful for the many gifts I have received on this path and the depth and breadth of relationships because of it.
The 'work' has helped my heart, mind, soul and world expand.
I am unraveling another layer of the onion.
More big feelings are surfacing to heal.
I blame it on quitting smoking.
I am sometimes left feeling dysregulated and lost.
It's not that I feel like an imposter.
I feel very true to my Heart and Soul.
This has been my guiding Light and I am grateful.
But I have missed the boat on certain aspects of adulting.
In some situations, I am ultra responsible and highly structured.
I excel at organizing and creating systems that are practical, fluid and fun.
But there is so much information now I can't keep up with my own personal organization. My desktop and digital documents are a mess. I stopped getting my email inbox to zero a while ago. I have 62+ active alarms on my phone reminding me to do stuff. The massive amount of ideas, articles, quotes, podcasts, audiobooks, photos, videos, etc. is so overwhelming...
I want to crawl under the covers and never come out.
I may not be great at adulting, but I wholeheartedly
believe in and honor the preciousness of you!
Gentle Blessings,
Teri Jo
Quote by Maya Angelou
I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old.
We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.
Song 4 You: We Are Young by PS22 Chorus & Walk the Moon
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